Royals MP concerned about allegations

Ottawa Royals team captain Dominic Rochon today expressed concern about allegations made by Mexican news magazine "Hola!" concerning events involving three members of the current Royals MP team and one former member currently playing with another Premier team that allegedly took place during a recent Mardi Gras festival.

This sort of thing is "insensitive, and indeed ... incorrect," claimed Rochon, from his panelled office at government HQ this morning.

Rochon refused to be drawn on further allegations regarding the high number of hairdressers on the Royals team. "I refuse to be drawn on allegations regarding the high number of hairdressers on the Royals team," he said, shaking his head and winking.

"All I can say is that this would never have happened on old Royals teams."

Further rumours that the Royals would be adopting the new white leotards sported in the Hola news spread as their Ontario Cup kit were confirmed by an anonymous military source.

"Er, yep, er yep, er yep," said Private Dick Tepid, seen surreptitiously moving a handful of shirts behind his back. "The material is really silky and soft and, er, yep, er, yep."

When pressed for a comment on the photo, "ring leader" Jorge Gutierrez replied. "I guess you guys have finally figured it out... what can i say! you guys missed a fantastic evening."